Mirage
by Kacuko
Summary: INFINITE. Reality and imagination fuses together. Myungsoo's eyes are covered in a thin layer of fluid illusion. Sunggyu x Myungsoo, slight Hoya x Myungsoo


Emerald Mirage—

Fandom: Infinite

Pairing: Myungsoo x Sunggyu, slight Hoya x Myungsoo

Rating: R

angst

Warning: usage of drugs, character death

Myungsoo's eyes are covered in a thin layer of fluid illusion.

* * *

"Put sunshine in my mouth."

Heavy air resonates into a barely audible whisper. He breathes into Myungsoo's lungs and oxygen sticks to the inside of his throat, clammy.

Savage desire squeezes Myungsoo's guts.

And Sunggyu's fingers taste like the meaning of life, sweet flavor melting into his mouth like cotton candy and Myungsoo closes his lips around the digits, sucking. The arms of his beginning wrap around his soul and lift him into enlightenment. Deep pupils dilate until irises are just molten brown rings circling two eclipses.

The sensation— is something new. It is not their first time, and it's never the same; it's like Sunggyu becomes a completely different entity each time. It makes Myungsoo excited and pushes him to the edge, a sharp enthusiasm.

Sunggyu's skin explodes into a rainbow and Myungsoo's senses become delusional. Myungsoo hears the colors serenade him onto an endless meadow of flowerbeds that follow the shades of Sunggyu's body as he dashes across the field, his laugh echoing in the distance. A scent settles down on his tongue that tastes like Sunggyu's rich voice, a burgundy silk robe sliding across his naked chest with high-pitched silver embroidery.

It tears Myungsoo apart and pieces him back together.

Sunggyu's mouth is saccharine hotness – poisonous and intoxicating. He plays with vibrant marbles on Myungsoo's back, fingertips casting disasters on his skin and nails digging _redhotcrimsonbleeding_ marks into the rippling muscles, and it's not the discomfort, but the pleasure that makes Myungsoo crack into a whimpering mess. He presses his lips against Myungsoo's pale ass cheek and leaves tender kisses there. Myungsoo sees colorful butterflies swarm towards the open window, they leave him as they shake sparkling stardust off their wings and Myungsoo lifts his hips for Sunggyu's hands.

Looking into Sunggyu's eyes is like staring into multiple layers of kaleidoscopes on top of each other. Patterns and shapes, abstract order and symmetrical chaos tattooed inside the curves of Myungsoo's brain, they are like ornamented shackles clanking in the melody of a harp. His eyes are the clear sky that looks at Myungsoo every single minute, following the steps he takes, following the way his mouth moves, following the twists and snaps of his wrist.

Myungsoo looks up, and the sky is not blue. Sunggyu whispers that it's okay—

"It's supposed to be this way." And Myungsoo believes him.

Sunggyu pours dreams all over Myungsoo's face, drenching him and pulling his hair. They slide off his body like slimy, sticky blobs and Myungsoo finds dozens of black slugs crawling on him.

He tries to shake them off him rapidly but Sunggyu tells him they are his dreams.

"I don't want them," Myungsoo replies. _I only want you._

Sunggyu beams at him with a wide grin and kisses him.

Myungsoo immortalizes Sunggyu through the lenses of his camera. The image of the man becomes golden on the display screen, there's honey and milk oozing out from between the slim joints of the parts, running down Myungsoo's fingers, gluing them to each other, and Sunggyu tastes sweetsweetsugar.

They are just two messy haired boys, with all their fantasies laid out on a riverbank and the strong current carries their clothes away and Myungsoo cries because he laughs, and Sunggyu is all over him and inside of him, filling him up until Myungsoo is completely full, so full that he has to vomit sand onto the deserted seashore.

The azure ceiling melts into the cerulean of the calm ocean, and the line of the horizon is missing. Waves crash on the flat beach of white sand, tickling Myungsoo's feet. It's a sapphire canvas of faint spheres and pastel powder, flickering dots and white thick smoke.

Myungsoo wanders alone in an open space, looking for a trace of Sunggyu. His legs carry him along the edge of the world, a dark abyss greeting his eyes on his left side. Grey and rotten hands reach from the depths, the ghosts of this galaxy but their prey is not Myungsoo. Their hushed voices repeat Sunggyu's name like a hypnotizing mantra.

He loses himself in the empty ecstasy as the time becomes a liquid substance on the floor that Myungsoo keeps slipping on. And then he falls off the end of the world but the absence of gravity makes him levitate, and he feels the vibe of eternity on his skin as mere goosebumps.

He wakes up to a myriad of sensations intruding his body and Myungsoo finds himself in his bed. A strong arm squeezes his waist, sleepy murmur entering his ear. There is a name etched to the voice in Myungsoo's mind, but a cloud of spectrum makes him forget.

Myungsoo dresses quickly in warm clothes and leaves the silent apartment, a steady breathing that is not Myungsoo's echoing in his chest.

They meet again and Sunggyu is glad that Myungsoo managed to find him despite the obstacles laid out in front of him.

Something is strange.

Sunggyu's chest that used to be the soft pillow that took every nightmare and monstrous thought away is now just a petrified hillside that reflects everything back. Even if Myungsoo's fists are raging, it seizes every strike.

He laughs, his voice scorching Myungsoo's eardrums.

Sunggyu spits sunshine onto Myungsoo's stomach and it burnsburns_burnsburns _so fucking much, his skin black and charring into ashes and dust. It doesn't feel like how it used to be, now it's just plainly unpleasant, painful, and Myungsoo wants to get away from Sunggyu.

He tries to escape with a dull ache escorting him.

Myungsoo is freezing to death, it's a summer snowfall. It feels like frost has bitten him. He covers his naked self with the photographs of Sunggyu like a thick blanket and now he is burning up. As the weather turns even bitter, Sunggyu's breath roars vapor into the cold.

There is a message on the wall, _pleasestoppleasedon'tdoitagain,_ but Myungsoo closes his eyes.

Sunggyu wants him back. Sunggyu calls him.

Sunggyu's lips are an indigo omen and his skin pale white like a sick presence of his own self. He is just as cold as Myungsoo.

He refuses.

Sunggyu's nose is a tornado that sucks everything in, taking Myungsoo's breath away in an instant. Sunggyu's arms embrace his torso like his ribs hug his heart, a defending shield against everything that might hurt Myungsoo.

A nameless voice begs him, _stopstopstopstopstopstop, _and Myungsoo ignores it. Sunggyu makes him.

Sunggyu's feet are solid boulders that roll long distances; they shape, ruin and kill if they become one with water.

Myungsoo swallows his saliva, his mouth drying out. Something rolls down his throat, a lump.

This person— his hands are thunderbolts that destroy if they crash down. They shock when Sunggyu touches Myungsoo's body, electrifying and excruciating, burning and hurting Myungsoo.

Suddenly the world turns inside out and everything inverts into its opposite. Nihility becomes everything and zero duplicates itself into infinity, black empties itself into white and positive turns into negative andandandand Myungsoo is standing upside down outside, descending into the sky at the speed of darkness.

Unexpected stinging pain drills into Myungsoo's stomach the moment he stabs Sunggyu. The knife stays in his lower abdomen but as Myungsoo steps back in complete shock, he trips in an invisible string of agony. He stares up at the warm, pastel ceiling, scarlet seeping through the color and staining the walls as they become red and the smell of metal flows into Myungsoo's nose. He feels the taste overwhelm his mouth, tongue and circular force attempting to push the liquid out – painting Myungsoo's chin. He swallows in reflex and then gags as his stomach gets filled with blood.

_Myungsoomyungsoomyungsoo,_ somebody's voice chants in his ear but it's neither Sunggyu nor himself. It's the voice that used to warn him about Sunggyu; it's the voice that Myungsoo never paid attention to. It's the voice that introduced him to Sunggyu.

_Pleaselookatmemyungsoopleasedon't— _the words flow into each other like the cars of a derailed train piling up on each other.

A person climbs out of one of the broken windows, casually leaving the crash-site. Myungsoo is utterly surprised to see Howon nearing him and after a few steps closer, he can make out the worried and troubled expression on the other man's face.

Myungsoo recognizes him finally.

"I'm so sorry," is the first thing Howon says and places his hands on Myungsoo's stomach. Myungsoo feels butterflies crawling in his belly and his eyes flutter closed. He lets out a desperate sob.

"I shouldn't have let you try it first," he continues and when he touches Myungsoo's cheeks with both hands, Myungsoo feels something warm and wet on his skin, unsettling.

"I'm sorry I didn't try harder to make you quit."

Howon's fingers and palms are bloody.

"I failed."

Sunggyu never existed.

* * *

Sunggyu visits Howon one night when the latter feels lonely in the empty bedroom, and takes Howon on a trip to the Milky Way, and Sunggyu is the mist of stars and the branches of galaxies, the cloud of spectral nebulae and the black hole that devours Howon as well.


End file.
